Andy Dick beat up by Butterfly

Bananaphone Express was in Duress.

July 12th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Epic Fail

Andy Dick was reportedly rushed to the hospital after being severely beaten by a large butterfly, after Andy Dick had called the large monarch butterfly a Moth. Jon Lovitz, who had also beaten Andy Dick at one point (severely enough to cause bleeding, and possibly brain damage - although that likely was pre-existing), was nowhere to be found, although attempts were made to get his comments on the developing story out of Big Sur, California.

As reported by witnesses, the butterfly was minding its own business, flying around, when it was confronted by Dick. In the confrontation the butterfly was called a Moth, and apparently enraged, it flew into Andy Dick’s eye. According to witnesses Dick yelped loudly, and cradled his eye, while the butterfly few back into the trees.

Within minutes, California’s Finest arrived on the scene ready to beat Andy Dick - but found that he was actually the victim of the attack. Although no word has been received from Dick, it is reported that he may have suffered scratches to his cornea which will heal in a few days. Obviously traumatized at the scene, it is unknown whether the tears were from the damage, or because he was in an emotionally distressed state. In other related news, a popular on air radio station host is reported to have laughed at the incident, and may have used an expletive relating to female genitalia in describing Andy Dick’s handling of the affair.

By the way, this post was totally a satire and parody. Really.