Hannah Montana is, uh, oops

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April 28th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Scandal

Disney’s resident “Teen Queen” of overproduced crap has found herself embroiled in the scandal of the century (Ok, so the century is only eight years old and nobody over the age of 13 cares about this crap anyway, but still, this is scandalicious baby. Huh? No Bill I do not think the Democratic Presidential Nomination is the “real news’ I should be reporting. Why? Because everyone already knows Hillary is going fuck it all up and get Bush Jr. elected. Now get back to your cubicle and finish that groundbreaking report on cleavage’s link with curing cancer so I can get out of these parentheses. Huh? Yes I would like some coffee, but don’t stir it with your penis this time you asshole.) after participating in a “racy” photo shoot with famed photographer Annie Leibovitz for the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. According to Ms. Cyrus/CNN:

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” Cyrus said in a statement her publicist released. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans, who I care so deeply about.”

Ha! Yea right. I can almost imagine how fast Achy Breaky Heart’s daughter jumped out of her training bra when she learned that one of the last people to see John Lennon alive wanted to shoot some pictures. And since Annie Leibovitz is a world-renowned, professional photographer who is known for taking artsy (that’s the professional term you use when not in the porn studio) photos of celebrities Ms, Cyrus had to know this photo shoot would involve more than just a panoramic shot of her Sunshine Bear doll. I imagine the Mickey Mouse child-slave conjured up this half-assed “apology” only after Disney’s SWAT team kicked in her door and reminded her that if she does anything to jeopardize their billion-dollar franchise she’ll be drawing cartoons in China faster than her father’s music career swan-dived off the Earth.