Hot Chick of the Day - Britney Spears
June 3rd, 2008 Posted in HCOTD
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Goddammit Bluto, stop smoking so much friggin’ opium,” but bear with me here. I’m not saying that the nightmare of today’s Britney Spears is deserved of the HCOTD crown, because she isn’t, at all, she’s more deserved of being KFC’s mascot. What I’m saying is that the Britney Spears of yesteryear is absolutely deserved (does that word work here? Sure why not) of the HCOTD crown. Back when you, your father, uncle, brother, grandpa, third cousin twice removed, and possibly your gay aunt would blow up all of France for the chance to touch her boobs. Back when Britney wasn’t completely insane, and didn’t think she needed to finish the entire cake each and every time. That Britney was hotter than hell. That Britney needs to break out of the mental asylum once more.
You may also be asking why I would visit the past when they are so many hot chicks in the here and now. Well, it’s mostly because I am really lazy today and have the ambition of Rosie O’Donnell in a marathon, and I remembered that One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest used to be really hot and making her today’s HCOTD would be really easy. So, blame Rosie O’Donnell’s jelly rolls if you are not satisfied and keep that revolution talk on the down-low. I promised to teach you serfs my knowledge of movable type, but not until the next turnip harvest comes in. And god help you if you those turnips are used as volley against my castle.
Photo: Dumpstersluts (ha, also NSFW)
- Bluto -
Tags: Britney Spears, Esquire, HCOTD, Rolling Stone, Topless
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