It is now confirmed. Morgan Freeman kicks Death’s Balls.
August 4th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, The Good
Morgan Freeman, 71, was in a car accident last night (Sunday Night) in which his car flipped at least 600 times, and afterward, involved an epic battle with the incarnation of Death. Read the previous story for the exact events leading to the accident, as reported by our Chihuahua with permanent metal probes in its brain, Roxie. Now confirmed that Freeman is indeed fine, he laughed off the incident, and the damage, while simultaneously flipping Death off. Death is not expected to make a full recovery.
Although Freeman, 71, did sustain injuries they are not life threatening in any way. In fact, when they heal, they might be life enhancing, as he may have super powers. In fact his only major injury, the broken arm and elbow, came from doing a pile driver on top of Death’s groin, effectively breaking Death’s pelvis. He hit Death, and the ground so hard, witnesses have said that there is a twenty foot crater in the ground, and some tattered shreds of black cloth.
Even after breaking his own arm while beating the shit out of Death he didn’t give a damn. He used his other fist and arm to break both of Death’s orbital socket bones, and cracked Death’s skull. He left the scene later to go to the hospital, and tell the doctor’s to fix him up.
Reports of Morgan Freeman demanding a rematch against Death have yet to be confirmed - however it is unlikely that Death will respond as he is still in a coma.
Tags: Death, Epic, Morgan Freeman