Joaquin Phoenix Hospitalized
May 20th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Epic Fail
Joaquin Phoenix was rushed (according to my investigations) to the hospital for what I assume was a very serious, deadly virus. Oh, no wait, it was just the flu. Ok everyone! You can take off your biohazard suits now! Us:
Joaquin Phoenix has been hospitalized for a stomach ailment, forcing him to skip the premiere of his new drama Two Lovers Monday at the Cannes Film Festival, according to Entertainment Tonight.
In an email read at a press conference for the film, Phoenix, 33, said he was “very disappointed” he could not attend the premiere.
Director James Gray added that Phoenix wanted to attend, but doctors insisted on hospitalizing him.
Does everyone in Hollywood have the immune system of a 90-year-old AIDS patient? Every time one of these asshats gets hospitalized it’s because they stubbed their toe or had a hangnail. Either that or they are suffering from “exhaustion,” which of course is a friendly way of saying “My client is a raging alcoholic whose body is harboring the deadliest narcotic known to man.” If I showed up to the hospital complaining of a stomach flu the doctor would slice open my head and punch me in the brain before shoving a thermometer eight feet up my ass, and then telling me to call him in the morning.
- Bluto -
Tags: Flu, Hospitalized, Joaquin Phoenix, Stomach Flu