Jolie-Pitt Expecting Twins - Bluto Devises Murder Plot
May 14th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, The Good
In what turns out to be very depressing to me, Brad Pitt has impregnated Angelina Jolie with twins and has caused me to buy a sniper rifle. People reports:
This time around will be double the pleasure for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who are expecting twins.
Jack Black let the news slip while doing a joint-interview with Jolie in Cannes to promote their movie, Kung Fu Panda. “You’re gonna have as many as [the] Brady Bunch when you have these,” he said during the chat with Today show’s Natalie Morales.
Asked by Morales if she is indeed having twins, Jolie replied, “Yeah, yeah, we’ve confirmed that already. Well, Jack’s just confirmed it actually.”
The children will be the fifth and sixth for the Jolie and Pitt. The family currently consists of Maddox, 6; Pax, 4; Zahara, 3; and Shiloh, who turns 2 this month.
Ok, seriously, Brad Pitt needs to knock it the fuck off. I think he’s a good actor and enjoy his movies as do a lot of other people. So there’s one thing he has got going for him. For the past 10-15 or so years he’s also been the one man women wouldn’t think twice about throwing their vagina at his crotch while visiting the Pope. And now he is having his second and third biological child with Angelina Jolie, the one woman men wouldn’t think twice about robbing Fort Knox while holding the President hostage if she asked them to while laying on their bed naked. in fact, if I came home to find Angelina Jolie naked on my bed I would round up every orphan being chased by demon Tigers in India’s haunted jungles on the off chance that she would be impressed and let me touch her boob.
Speaking of her boobies, did anyone else notice how awesome her nipple holsters become when she’s infiltrated by sperm? So, now we have a conundrum:
A) Let Brad Pitt continue to Hank Aaron Angelina’s vagina
B) Brainstorm a diabolical scheme to remove Mr. Pitt but risk losing his movies and Angelina pregnant boobs
Hmm…… I must ponder, get me my pipe, flat cap, and bifocals.
- Bluto -
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Boobs, Pregnant, Pregnant Boobs, Twins