Katie Holmes Sent to Scientology Death…. Boot Camp
May 1st, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Scandal
It seems as though Katie Holmes has been stepping out of line with Scientology’s favorite insane gay midget….. ummm…… insane gay midget Tom Cruise as of late. Oh ever how could she be brought back into the fold? By going through slave treatment at Scientology’s secret fortress of course! Star reports:
… Katie was recently secluded for three days at Gold Base, the remote, supersecret Scientology compound in Hemet, Calif., where she was put through a demanding schedule. “It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes,” a Scientology insider reveals. “Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.” Katie’s intensive Scientology training and treatments have been accelerated in recent weeks, says another source, because she wanted to go to New York City without Tom to star in a Broadway play. But Tom stepped in and put the kibosh on her plans. And now Katie’s been going in for a series of intensive auditing sessions, some which have lasted for 36 hours straight — with little sleep or food.
Unconfirmed reports state that Ms. Holmes’ unruly behavior began when she asked Tom to pass the salt during dinner without raising her hand. It is said that to get back in Tom’s good graces Katie tried to seduce Top Gun by way of her awesome rack (god she has a magnificient rack), at which point Vanilla Sky ran from the table crying like a little school girl. After this, Scientology’s SEAL Team Six kicked down the door and kidnapped politely escorted Ms. Holmes to a three-day tourturefest at their Compound of Batshit Insanity lovely retreat at their gingerbread house.
Picture = fond memories
Photo: Katie Holmes Hair (there’s a website dedicated solely to Katie Holmes’ hair? Jesus Christ)
- Bluto -
Tags: Katie Holmes, Scientology, Scientology Boot Camp, Tom Cruise