Lily Allen + Cliff Diving = Topless (It’s science)

Protecting Lemmings since Jesus invented the Telephone.

May 14th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, The Good

Lily Allen decided to go on a little vacation to Cap D’Antibes, France, and while there she decided to partake in a little cliff-jumping. And what better way is there to experience cliff diving than topless? Luckily, Lily Allen and I share the same sentiments, which means that she is an absolute genius. Is it just me or do hot chicks seem really, really smart when their boobies are out and about? Now I know what you’re thinking, “Bluto, the only reason the seem smarter is because you are staring at their tits and not listening to what they are saying,” well la-di-da you sexist son of a bitch. I for one am not going to stand here and let you belittle the hot chicks cognitive abilities by saying they only seem smart when their boobies are there to distract me. I for one have first-hand experience that hot chicks + boobies does not = a misconceived notion of intelligence. Just the other night I was talking to this chick on the couch and she was going on about how women have every right to be a prison guard in a male prison, or something, I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention. During her babble spiel she jostled around a bit on the couch and her boobie fell out of her geniusly-designed loose-fitting shirt, and you know what? Women can should be able to guard thousands of muscled-up murders. Who says they can’t break up a prison fight between 30 guys who can all bench press 300 lbs. and have the rage control of a Pit Bull dogfighting (I hate you Michael Vick) champion? Besides, if a female prison guard decided to get naked during a prison fight you know what happens then? The prisoners all sit down and draw finger paintings showing equality between people of all races. So apparently, prison fight + naked female prison guard = prison harmony, who am I to argue with the math?