Lindsay Lohan Fired From ‘Manson’ Film

May 8th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Epic Fail

Hollywood’s resident ‘Town Drunk’ whose tits you’d still really like to play with has reportedly been fired the anti-romantic comedy (what the fuck is a anti-romantic comedy? A movie that is actually funny, not entirely predictable, and not unfathomably stupid? Isn’t that just called a comedy?) The Manson Girls for the movie’s failure to attract other name actresses to the project. It is rumored that Chesty McHolyshithertitsarehuge can be an insufferable bitch on set, which is said to be the reason behind the movie’s failure to attract other actresses. Deadline Hollywood Daily (pick a shorter name you whores) says:

Production was slated to commence in early July for five weeks in Los Angeles, and everybody was pleased that Lohan was attached back in March. (On the other hand, this project for her was really hitting bottom. Lindsay in the true life crime film was to play the part of Nancy Pitman, a pampered surfer girl who became enthralled with Charlie Manson.) But people associated with the movie told agents that Lohan quickly became more of a deficit than an asset when they discovered that they couldn’t find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her. (And even some name actors…)

So Hollywood finally said “fuck you” to Ms. Mammary’s antics of boozing, and fucking, and flashing, and being a bitch. What does this mean for Lindsay’s career? Who cares? Me? No, I certainly do not. What I do care about is the fact that since Lindsay will no longer be working in any films outside of Rob Schneider’s garbage she will no longer be able to participate in my revolutionary lesbian scene between her and Scarlett Johansson. What the fuck Hollywood? What the hell was that conference call all about last week? Why the hell did I even go through the trouble of storyboarding the scene? It’s like you weren’t even listening to the other end of my tin can telephone, and I happen to know for a fact that the string was attached to both cans. You can’t fool me Hollywood, Buford the teddy bear told me all about your shenanigans during our conference call. You didn’t even show up to the goddamn meeting! Real professional.

- Bluto -