Mutt Lange is a Fucking Moron

May 20th, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Scandal

According to People, Mutt Lange decided to throw his hat in the ring for “World’s Dumbest Fucking Person Alive” by bending his secretary over her desk while he was still married to one of the hottest women ever, who presumably would sit at home in a tub of strawberries naked, waiting for her retarded husband to come home. Fucking dumbass:

Reached by PEOPLE after the separation was announced in a statement, Lange called the split “an unfortunate thing.” He added, “It’s literally just a growing apart, that’s all.”

But sources close to the situation say a third party was involved: Marie-Anne Thiébaud, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple’s chateau in Switzerland. “Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship,” says one source.

Lange denies the claims. “It’s absolutely not the reason [for the separation],” the famously reclusive producer told PEOPLE when asked about the alleged affair. He also denied that he was in a romantic relationship with Thiébaud: “I’m not, no,” he said. “It’s not true.” (Thiébaud could not be reached for comment.)

Mutt Lange has officially lost all of the awesomeness credit he gained for producing AC/DC. How dumb must you be to cheat on Shania Twain? Here’s what I want to know; who is this minx he has been sexing on the side and how has her hotness not exploded the Earth by now? Because, according to my calculations, for a woman to be hot enough to make you actually cheat on Shania Twain her hotness must equate to the temperature at the Sun’s core, or something like that, I don’t know, my math isn’t fully worked out yet, but what I can tell you in between these commas is that the only way I’d cheat on Shania Twain is if I was threatened with “Penis Falling Off Disease” and the only way to cure it was to stick it in Megan Fox. Obviously, that disease is very serious and is in no way made up, and if plowing Megan Fox is the only cure, than plowing Megan Fox I will. I do it for the people, Viva la Resistance!

In a startling turn of events, it turns out that since Mutt Lange’s penis has Downs Syndrome Shania Twain is now free to bang whoever she damn well pleases…….. sweet Jesus…….. someone erect a statue of this man, now!

- Bluto -