The Last Brain Cell

Scarlett Johansson can’t sing….Who cares?

Scarlett’s singing super sucks. (Hah. I love alliteration)

“Anywhere I Lay My Head,” a collection of Tom Waits songs recorded by the star of such films as “Match Point,” “Lost in Translation” and “Girl with a Pearl Earring,” has been described by the actress as “an intimate experience.”

But numerous reviews of the album complained that Johansson’s vocals end up lost in the lush arrangements of producer David Andrew Sitek, the guitarist and keyboardist for the indie rock band TV on the Radio.

For some critics, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Johansson’s voice is unremarkable and her pitch sometimes unsteady; she’s a faintly goth Marilyn Manson lost in a sonic fog,” wrote Rolling Stone magazine, which gave her a lukewarm 2.5 stars out of five.

I wish I knew what certain actors (Eddie Murphy, William Shatner, and now Scarlett Johansson) were smoking, which made them think that they could sing, and where I could buy it. I mean, that has to be some hardcore shit right there. Obviously, it must be something strong enough to make them forget the fact that no one wants to hear them sing crappy songs horribly. However, unlike those two old wash-ups and the many more before her, I doubt Johansson’s foolish actor-to-singer crossover will harm her career much, because she’s still got one of the best set of knockers on the globe. Hopefully, she’ll realize that those chumbawumbas are the only reason people like her and continue to do crappy movies, while topless.

~Joker~

Tags: chumbawumbas, Scarlett Johansson, singing