Shania Twain got Dumped for this Cave Troll

Bananaphone Express was in Duress.

May 22nd, 2008 Posted in Celebrities, Epic Fail, Scandal, The Bad

Here is the first picture of the swamp beast woman Mutt Lange decided to punish his penis with, and coincidentally, she is standing right next to Shania Twain. Mutt Lange is a fucking moron. People:

As Shania Twain copes with her sudden split with the support of family and friends in her native Canada, sources close to the singer say she is reeling from a double betrayal – not only by her husband of 14 years, music producer Robert “Mutt” Lange, but by a woman she considered a close friend.

Lange’s relationship with Marie-Anne Thiébaud, 37, a longtime secretary and house manager at Twain and Lange’s estate in Switzerland, was behind the breakup, say several sources familiar with the situation.

“Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship,” says one source, adding that the Swiss employee was a fixture in the household Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, shared with their son, 6-year-old Eja D’Angelo.

There is no doubt in my mind that Mutt Lange’s penis has pulled two hamstrings in his stretch to strangle Lange in his sleep. I can’t find any logical reason as to why someone would willingly risk losing having sex with Shania Twain for an abominal creature, which was banned to the deepest caves by the Knights of the Round Table in the years of old. So here’s is what I think the reasoning would be, and based on the research I absolutely did not do, this is 100% factual. Mutt Lange is a disgraced knight who was ordered to brave the terrors of Marie-Anne Thiébaud as punishment for going against the Code of Chivalry. His fair (absolutely gorgeous) maiden, Shania Twain, is now free to roam the village in nothing but a loincloth. Allow me to be the first to say that the Knights of the Round Table are goddamn geniuses.

The end.

- Bluto -